Thursday, March 26, 2020

Is This the Best Job Description Ever?

Claire Kittle Dixon is my favorite recruiter. She runs a company called Talent Market, and her job descriptions bubble with personality. One example: She asks candidates to include in their cover letters “evidence of your sense of humor.”

Here’s an excerpt from one of her latest postings:

What You Bring to the Table

1. Five-Plus Years of Experience in the Liberty Movement
You know the free-market universe very well. And people know you. You’re a big tent type who is comfortable working with both conservative and libertarian organizations that advance economic liberty.

2. A Sense of Humor
You laugh a lot. You take your work seriously, but you don’t take yourself too seriously. You’re more likely to be accused of talking like a sailor than talking like an attorney.

3. Solid Judgment
You’re observant, have a good memory, and make smart decisions. You have a superb gut instinct; you are the first one to know when your BFF is dating a scumbag.

4. Passion for Liberty
You believe strongly in free-market principles and have a sincere interest in working in the liberty movement to make the world a better place. You realize you could potentially earn more in the private sector, but can’t stomach the idea of making lame widgets. You have a natural distaste for politics, but you absolutely love the ideas-side of policy.

5. People Skills
You’re completely at ease interacting with a wide variety of people. You’re not like Milton from Office Space. And people actually like you.

6. Sincerity
You’re genuine. You’re not a used car salesman or a snake oil peddler, and you sure as heck don’t sell Rodan + Fields. People trust you because they know you are authentic and honest. You can deliver tough feedback and bad news with the grace of Mary Poppins.

7. Confidentiality
You can keep a secret. You can hear the most intriguing, salacious detail about someone or something and you have no desire to repeat it. If you enjoy gossip, you should stop reading this job description immediately and turn on the View.

8. Organizational Skills
You’re organized. You never lose your keys or your sunglasses (except when they’re on your head, but that’s understandable). You don’t miss appointments or scheduled calls. You like lists and spreadsheets and calendars.

9. Data-Driven Mindset
You dork out on data. You understand the value of a database filled with clean, reliable data. You know what I mean when I say “garbage in, garbage out.” You geek out on pulling queries and running reports that will provide valuable insight and affect your actions.

10. Default for Action
You’re a self-motivated doer. You get stuff done. You’re not a procrastinator who dilly-dallies. You’re also decisive. When you’re at a restaurant, it doesn’t take you 25 minutes to decide what to order (and if it does, we’re never going out to eat together). Above all, you are focused on making sure the action you take creates value.

11. Sense of Urgency
You’re the hare (not the tortoise), but you don’t nap in the middle of the race. You thrive in a fast-paced environment with lots of moving parts. You love getting stuff done, and you want to make sure it’s done right. When you make a mistake, you acknowledge it, make it right, and move on.

12. Responsiveness
Because you have a high sense of urgency, you like to be responsive to people. You don’t let emails or voicemails hang in the ether. You keep people informed and you always, always close the loop.

13. Evidence You Can Work Virtually
If you’ve ever dreamed of working from home so you can get back into your old soap opera rotation, please do not apply. Virtual work puts a focus on results, and we expect this person will be a productivity whiz.