SANTOS
You know, I feel terrible making you do this when I’m not even in the debate.
AMY
You’re not in the Olympics either, doesn’t mean you don’t do some sit-ups now and then.
SANTOS
Well, you know you’ve coached about 50 women congressional candidates to debate wins—so there must be some secret.
AMY
There is. Always keep an extra pair of pantyhose in your purse.
SANTOS
After bombing the way I did in Iowa, I’m not gonna rule that out.
AMY
Congressman, I looked at the tapes. You’re great. You’re quotable cute enough to be a presidential pinup.
SANTOS
Wait until you see my runway work.
AMY
You don’t have the presidential voice.
SANTOS
The presidential voice?
AMY
You don’t have it. And it’s a time of global peril and you’re sharing the stage with two vice presidents.
SANTOS
Or not.
AMY
Congressman, what do you think of the ultranationalist gains in the Russian parliamentary elections?
SANTOS
It ain’t the Litchfield City Council, but Russia makes its own choices. And in a democracy—
AMY
Whoa, whoa, whoa—you just wrote the lamer half of Jay Leno’s monologue. You’re not a House backbencher trying to get a quote on CNN. Sobriety, understatement, let the words carry the authority.
SANTOS
A presidential voice...
AMY
Think filling out a suit, instead of wearing bright orange
SANTOS
Pantyhose.
AMY
I was gonna say neckties, but what the hell.
SANTOS
There are whole generations of Russians who were trained by the KGB. Now, when the wall fell, they didn’t all go open pizzerias. Now that’s not to say that
AMY
No, no, no. Bad, bad, bad. If I could pull a lever and drop you through the floor, I’d do it right now.
SANTOS
What, my analysis isn’t right?
AMY
Your analysis is fine. I don’t know how to explain this any better. It’s not a pop quiz and it’s not a late-night talk show. The leader of the free world has to speak in broad concepts, in value statements. “I love America. I will lead the world towards liberty.”
SANTOS
Oh, I don’t sound pompous enough?
AMY
You sound like you’re commenting on events, not shaping them.
SANTOS
I don’t shape them, and it’s not the way I think.
AMY
Congressman, the prospect of first-strike capability’s gotta change the way you think.
[snip]
AMY
I’m trying to explain the presidential voice. The difference between leading the marketplace and catering to it. The difference between, I don’t know, John Lennon and John Davidson. Sergeant Pepper and the fifth Herman’s Hermits album.
—The West Wing
