Even for die-hard fans, the sport of swimming can present paradoxes. Here are seven that stump us.
SHOW PIC OF REGAN SMITH
1. Earrings
You shave every centimeter of hair on your body to reduce drag. You spend half an hour pinching and pulling a skintight tech suit over your body. Why, then, do you leave your earrings on?
Possible answers: Superstition and/or aesthetics.
SHOW PIC OF AARON SHACKELL
2. Goggle Straps
Ditto for your goggle straps that flutter in your wake, as if they were another kind of kick. Why not tuck the excess underneath your cap — or at least trim the rubber’s length?
Possible answers: No. Earthly. Idea.
SHOW PIC OF RYAN LOCHTE
3. Exposed Napes
And don’t get us started on the hair that men leave exposed on the back of their neck. (This is a particularly sensitive subject for one of us, who’s been balding, without quite being bald, for the past 10 years.) If you’re going to stretch two caps over your head, lest the slightest strand of hair touch the water, why doesn’t the cap cover your nape?
Possible answers: Laziness.
SHOW PIC OF RYAN HELD
4. Winter Clothes
Here’s a similar paradox: Every swimmer wraps himself in heavy clothes while awaiting his race. Some even wear a parka and mittens. Why, then, after warming your body as if it’s a toaster oven, do you then furiously splash cold water all over your shaved skin as you step to the blocks?
Possible answers: To stimulate your senses.
SHOW PIC OF MICHAEL PHELPS
5. Exiting
After a practice, most swimmers exit the pool near where they came in: By pulling themselves up and out of the water where they finished. Yet after a race, most swimmers forgo this easy egress. Instead, they prefer the farther side of the pool, which they reach by slithering like a snake over the unforgiving lane lines.
Possible answers: Exhaustion and/or to prolong your presence in the pool.
SHOW PIC OF GRETCHAN WALSH
6. Semifinals
In big meets, swimmers don’t just swim their race once. No, to get to the finals, they must first swim a “preliminary” heat, and then, for shorter races, a “semifinal” one. The thing is, only your final time counts when awarding medals. Why, then, do some swimmers go faster in the semis than they do in the finals?
Possible answers: Eagerness and excitement, and/or fear of not qualifying for the next round.
SHOW PIC OF MICHAEL ANDREW
7. Goggles
Ask any swimmer for his biggest complaint about his goggles, and invariably “fog” will top the responses. Why? Because there’s really no such thing as “anti-fog.” What’s worse, the surefire way to make your goggles even foggier is by wearing them on land. Why, then, when walking from the ready room to the blocks, do swimmers clasp their goggles firmly over their eyes, as if preparing to plunge into the water mid-stride?
Possible answers: Aesthetics.
What other chlorinated contradictions have caught your goggle? Nose clips for nonbackstroke? Semifinals for short events but not for long events? Eating — or noteating — before a big race? Let us know!
Jonathan Rick is a ghostwriter, and Daria Piacentino is a pharmaceutical executive, in Washington, D.C. They swim with Arlington Masters in Arlington, Virginia.
