A student recently asked me if it was “ok” for her to miss our next class. She asked if I “minded”? Here’s what I wrote back:
From your perspective, you’re requesting permission. That seems respectful and professional, right?
From the perspective of a professor, however, a request worded this way can be off-putting; it might be construed as, “I value something else over your course.”
I know that’s not what you mean; as is often the case with issues I point out, it’s a matter of semantics.
Here’s what I recommend: If you need to miss a class, then try one of two approaches:
1. Just tell me that you need to miss a class, sans explanation. After all, attendance — of not only class but also college — is entirely your choice (though absence has consequences).
2. If you’d like to explain, then tread carefully. For example, illness, an unexpected emergency, or a religious observation are all perfectly appropriate reasons. On the other hand, that you’re, say, playing in a previously scheduled, intramural soccer game, or that you need more time to study for a big test, tells your professor that you don’t prioritize his course.
Please note: This feedback isn’t in any way personal. Rather, it’s a matter of professionalism and business standards. If you tell a client that you need to cancel a call because you need to attend to a different client, that message is unlikely to be received well. Everyone wants to feel valued.
Put another way: You must prioritize; that’s life. Just don’t make anyone feel devalued.
