Most people recoil when you point out they made a mistake. Here’s an example: A relative of mine is writing a screenplay. It’s her passion project. From time to time, she shares excerpts with me. One time, I saw a simple typo and I called her attention to it.
Yet rather than thank me, she snapped. “Do you want to read it, or do you want to criticize it?”
What’s the point? Nobody really welcomes criticism. In fact, if we’re being brutally honest, nobody wants to be told their work is anything less than perfect.
I’m different. I want to know if I have spinach in my teeth or my zipper is down or I cited the same study twice in the syllabus for my business-writing course (true story!). As a wise man once said, “Feedback is a gift.”
Here’s another embarrassing example: For years, I thought the phrase “two cents” was spelled “two sense.” That’s mortifying for an English professor, and I’m grateful that someone set me straight.
But here’s the thing: There’s a way to correct someone without being either aggressive or arrogant. Let me explain by way of two comments I once received from a student.
Comment #1
On the one hand, you can tell your professor, “You’re a hypocrite!” Such name calling is not only gratuitous; it also hardens an individual’s defenses.
On the other hand, you can say, “Is it fair to expect typo-free work from us when your own syllabus has a typo?” This revision makes the same point without making the questioner appear to be a jerk. On the contrary, the friendly tone makes me inclined to agree.
Comment #2
Similarly, consider another declaration — that two of my classroom policies are “unreasonable.” Let’s posit that this person is 100% correct and I’m 100% wrong; does anyone really think that being called “unreasonable” will change my mind?
Of course not. If you want to persuade someone, don’t start by insulting them. Approach your argument gently. Ask questions rather than issuing declarations. Use words like “seems” — or, better yet, “seems to me.” And, above all, be respectful. After all, we’re not talking about murder or theft or Donald Trump; we’re talkin’ ‘bout a syllabus.
