Monday, September 16, 2019

This Is Exactly How a Fortune 500 Company Reacts When Faced With Bad PR

Hugo
The magazine contacted Cruises directly.

Ken
Who at Cruises?

Hugo
Just Florida PR. Obviously, they thought they could get someone who might spew if they went low on the food chain. But I had ‘em all briefed.

Logan
What have they got? How much have they got?

Hugo
We don’t know. All they’re requesting is a response on one element.

Ken
Karolina said we had two weeks.

Hugo
I don’t know where Karolina got that from, so I cannot speak to that.

Shiv
Tell me again: How did this happen?

Gerri
We had a tip off, some time ago, New York magazine working on a substantial piece.

Hugo
They’re only giving us limited allegations and asking for a response.

Gerri
Obviously, we are confident on our position, regardless of the allegations.

Ken
And this will drop when?

Hugo
Online first. 36 to 48 hours. So, yeah, not two weeks. Again, I have no idea where that came from.

Ken
Can we kill it?

Shiv
No, you can’t kill it.

Hugo
Cease and desist, right?

Gerri
Yes, Hugo, we’re on that.

Ken
No, we go, How deep are their pockets? Fucking scare the shit out of them. Get word around. Our lawyers will go balls to the wall, say he’s super pissed. Subtext is, This is personal. We’re feeling vindictive. Get the senior management asking where they’ll go if we bankrupt them.

Shiv
Dad, cease and desist and a full-on, shit-flinging freak-out is very high-risk. But we could get them to delay. Tell them we’ll get into it all with them, we’ll cooperate, play it all out, and then stiff them.

Gerri
We could offer up morsels in exchange for postponement?

Hugo
Yeah, we might be able to find something, maybe out of the studios?

Shiv
No. Bigger. Juicer. People who are writing about cruise-abuse scandals are not gonna be getting all kissy for a plot twist on frat baby two.

Ken
No. Delay is too soft. We scare them into thinking what they have isn’t solid.

TL;DR: Ken thinks the magazine should be threatened with coffer-draining litigation if it decides to publish the piece. Shiv wants to take the seemingly more conciliatory approach of working with the magazine, which would delay publication.